Miles of Smiles

Oh, my heart. Having our daughter was one of the roughest days of our lives. Not because of her, but because of me and because of the situation. Friday, June 29, 2012, 4:10am. I woke up with some of the worst abdominal pain I have ever had. I was also achy and throwing up. I could barely move. Nothing was comfortable. I took some medicine thinking it was bad indigestion. You see, I had gone in to labor the week before and this felt nothing like that. Nothing. Miles was in Tulsa with Andy's parents having one last vacation before sister was scheduled to join our family. Andy woke up and started getting ready for work. He had a hearing scheduled and was about to walk out the door to pick up his client when I got a call back from my doctor saying to go to the hospital immediately. At this point it was 7:00 am. My doctor was a little upset I waited so long to call. We arrive at Lakeside and they start administering me. I was in labor but was in so much pain I could not feel my contractions. My blood pressure was very high. They gave me a shot to stop labor and decided blood work was needed. At 11:00 am, my nurse came back in and said, "Well, we are going to have a baby today". WHAT. I am only 35 weeks and 1 day. She is too small. This can't happen. Dr. Lisa came in behind her. "Jennifer, you have HELLP syndrome and the only way to cure your symptoms is to deliver the baby".

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HELLP_syndrome

Every one of the symptoms listed are symptoms I had. Had I ever heard of HEELP before June 29th? Nope.

At 1:28 pm on June 29th, 2012, Nora June Bowman was born. 5 pounds, 2 ounces, 17 3/4 inches long. This was our first picture. At this point we had no idea anything was wrong with her. Andy got to hold her for a few minutes before they took her immediately to the neonatal unit. We had a room full of family and friends and none of them got to meet her or even see her through the window.

This is what she looked like when I finally got to see her on Friday night. I cry every time I see this picture. This is not how you want to see your children. At this point I had not even gotten to hold my sweet daughter. I could only touch her arms.

On Sunday morning at 10:00 am, the doctors informed us that they would be moving her to the Integris Medical NICU unit. Nora was having a hard time breathing and she needed to be put on a ventilator. Up to this point she was on a CPAP machine to aid her breathing. Leaving Lakeside meant that she and I were being separated. I had only gotten to see her two or three times at this point. They wheeled me down to the neonatal unit and let me sit with her until the ambulance arrived. I think Andy and I just cried the entire time. The NICU nurses showed up and I watched them put her in a plastic box set for transportation. At that point I had to say goodbye and Andy followed the ambulance to Integris. My nurse wheeled me back to my room and sat with me while I cried. At Integris, they allowed for parents to have hands on time every three hours. Andy went back and forth every three hours, day and night. Miles was not allowed to go in to the NICU, and while she was in neonatal, no one could see her but Andy and I. This was breaking my heart. I had a very hard time explaining this to him. I talked to him on the phone and he said, "Momma, I am praying for Nora June". So painful not having either of my children with me.

The picture below is from Monday Night at 9:30 pm. My doctor gave me a one hour pass to go to Integris to see Nora. She was still in her "box" and we could only touch her by reaching through tiny holes in the side of her little home. Why only a one hour pass? I was still having some issues with my liver and my blood platelets. My doctor was not very happy about me leaving but knew seeing Nora would help me more then the cold room I sat in all day long.

On Tuesday morning, I was released from Lakeside with direct orders to come back in a few days for more blood tests. We showed up at Integris at our "hands on time" and they let me hold her for the very first time. She was five days old. Oh, it was so sweet. She was so tiny and still covered in wires and IV's but I finally had my daughter in my arms. I didn't want to let go.